I can’t believe the old guy on Downton Abbey didn’t marry Edith (season 3, episode 3). What is wrong with him?
I think I love you ‘Mr Peabody’
with your body-length softness
and your synthetic smell.
And your alleviation of my stomach, pushing on my bladder
And the accompanying need to pee thimbles-full of urine, every hour.
On the hour.
And your inconveniently large pillow case that needs to be washed and dried in the same day because I don’t want to purchase two of them.
What would I do with two pillow cases?
Even if they are on special for only $6.07 at the moment.
POST SCRIPT: What is wrong with me? Why didn’t I get one of these:
I don’t completely understand it, but I DEFINATELY want it. It’s like a pillow of HUG.
We are without kitchen at the moment. Renovating. Carney is the hard yards and I am the occasionally consulted/person who forgot to re-plug in the fridge. Hee, hee. I should say Adorable person who forgot to re-plug in the fridge!
Now, much as I’d like to spend a small fortune on lunches in the interests of saving and having money for more important things I present you:
Kitty’s Guide to Lunches you can buy for under $5
Nod to Cousin Keegan who believes the Cheap Eats Guide is a misnomer: ‘It should be “This is literally the cheapest food near to you you can purchase, the absolute cheapest” not “This is tasty and moderately priced”.
Natch, I’ll be starting in the Mitcham/Nunwading area, but who knows? Perhaps it will spread further as the idea takes off. Indeed, in this inaugural post, I ventured to semi-nearby Ringwood for sushi so already this shit is spreading. Curb your enthusiasm.
Back to Hitoshi. Looki Looki:
Cooked tuna ($2.50). So much filling! So little rice!
Chicken teriyarki ($2.40) – look at all that chicken overhang!!
Delicious. And if you ask them to cut it into pieces it’s like you’re in a fancy restaurant. Ask them to sing Italian to you and it will be like you’re in Venice! Ask them to call you Beyonce! They are very accommodating!
What did I blow additional money on?
As reward for only spending $4.90 I purchased a $2.00 can of Diet Dr Pepper*. I know, I know, aspartamene and caffeine; I’m gonna die. Sad face.
has got to be this clock in Melbourne Central:
Granted it’s more than just an enormous fob watch. Every hour, on the hour, the bottom of the fob lowers - to the tune of Waltzing Matilda, no less – to reveal:
- 2 x pointed hat-wearing cherub-types, playing a flute and violin respectively;
- 2 x cockatoos;
- 4 x other birds (rosellas? lorrikeets?).
And see how it’s six past the hour? THE SHOW GOES FOR MORE THAN SIX MINUTES.
WHICH IS A VERY LONG TIME.
MORE THAN TWO HOURS A DAY.
So yeah, it’s no Darling Harbour/Sydney Opera House.
In our annual holiday debate – Me vs. my Other – in which we agree on where and when to spend a few glorious weeks of the year, I put forward the case for an Exotic, Possibly Life Changing Health and Yoga Retreat. Arguments for: Feeling Amazing. Delicious foodstuffs. Relaxation. Personal growth.
He put forward arguments for an Awesome Fishing Vacation in which we would: 1) Get up at the crack of dawn; 2) Catch impressively large fish (best case); and 3) Eat impressively large fish (or worst case, starve). Not stated was the possibility of mounting one such specimen and displaying in our lounge room, an on-going aspiration or threat, depending on your point of view.
Horrified at the thought of sitting in a tinny for long periods of time (me), and fearing chanting and vegetarian food (him), we came up with a compromise solution: A DIY Yoga Retreat Near Good Fishing Spots With To Be Determined Food Options. Continue reading
Me: …and we can’t agree on a girls name. Carney likes Faith and Hope (both are terrible, obviously).
Chubbs: Is he serious about those names? Is he joking? People will assume you are Christians (new age, not old school), clap those hands!
Me: I know, God squad. Nothing wrong with, but rather misleading. Actually, Carney said he was a Buddhist in the census so maybe there’s a degree of accuracy*.
*THEREBY COMPROMISING THE WHOLE INTEGRITY OF THE STATISTICAL COLLECTION EXERCISE!! IF EVERYBODY DID THIS… we’d be a nation of Buddhists. On paper, at least.
This week characterised by: paranoia and a keen sense of smell (mainly for foot odour, which is everywhere).
1. Am having a teeny, tiny, mutant, peanut baby. Bump is still small and more food/wobbly variety than cute/pregnant variety.
2. Am about to get food poisoning, due to YoGetIt Incident, in which I inadvertently spent $11 (!!) on a frozen yoghurt covered in white chocolate Tim Tams. Discovered – post consumption - I was not actually at YoGetIt, rather some two-bit operation that had somehow acquired the YoGetIt cups, while selling off an inferior product.
Probably I will get salmonella.
Nobody else was even there; Ice Cream Girl looked startled when I walked in.
I think it is a Mafia front.
3. Should not have believed Sales Assistant when she said leggings looked both good and enough like pants to warrant having purchased 3 pairs to wear to work. They are awfully tight. And short.
4. Money, skin cancer, whether or not I offended the Ultrasound Lady, the usual stuff.